Sunday Re Cap (10th Feb 2008)

Communication Skills by Christopher K

Quick To Listen, Slow To Speak; “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”

The Challenges Of Communication

• Speaking too much
• Different backgrounds (paradigms)
• Speaking before thinking
• Wrong attitudes
• Poor listening skills ; “He who answers before listening that is his folly and shame.” (Proverbs 18:13)

Basic Styles Of Listening

1. The JUDGMENTAL listener
2. The INTERROGATIVE listener
3. The ADVICE-GIVING listener
4. The EMPATHIC listener

Barriers To Listening

• Preoccupied with something else
• Mind is already made up
• Interruptions and distractions
• Mind wanders (daydreaming)
• Lack of interest
• Defensive reaction to criticism

Overcoming Barriers To Listening

• Become active:
  
• Get involved in the discussion;
  
• Ask questions;
  
• Seek clarification ;
  
• Reflect feelings
• Use ‘alert’ body language: Erect posture (if seated, lean forward slightly);
  
• Maintain eye contact

Overcoming Barriers To Listening

• Periodically summarize: “So what you’re saying is that…”
• Acknowledge criticism, but don’t react

Levels Of Listening

• Ignoring
• Pretend Listening
• Selective Listening
• Attentive Listening
• Empathic Listening; Everyone’s life is so singular, so unique. Who will listen to understand that uniqueness?

Empathic Listening

• Interpreter
• Listening with your ears, eyes, and heart
• Caring attitude
• Sincere desire to understand
• Not agreeing, disagreeing, or offering solutions simply seeking to understand

“The one who listens does the most work, not the one who speaks.”