Eph 6:4 “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” NIV
Ephesians disclose the awesome blessings of grace and the awesome dimensions of spiritual authority over evil (“according to the power that works in us” (3:20)). But this is after the believer accepts the discipline of unity (4:1-16), purity (4:17-31), forgiveness (4:32), and walking in the fullness of the Holy Spirit (5:1-21). With this, every relationship at every point must be in order (5:22-6:9), the idea being that true spiritual power flows from true obedience to divine order in relationships and personal conduct.
Ephesians disclose the awesome blessings of grace and the awesome dimensions of spiritual authority over evil (“according to the power that works in us” (3:20)). But this is after the believer accepts the discipline of unity (4:1-16), purity (4:17-31), forgiveness (4:32), and walking in the fullness of the Holy Spirit (5:1-21). With this, every relationship at every point must be in order (5:22-6:9), the idea being that true spiritual power flows from true obedience to divine order in relationships and personal conduct.
1 Avoid Exasperation (“do not exasperate your children”)
The first duty is negative we are told to “not exasperate our children.” This is a caution or warning designed to put us on guard against stirring up anger in our kids either purposely or unknowingly.
Some common ways that fathers can exasperate their children:
1. Overprotection.
2. Overindulgence.
3. Favoritism.
4. Unrealistic Goals.
5. Discouragement.
6. Neglect.
7. Excessive Discipline.
2 Provide Nurture (“bring them up”)
The NIV translates this verb as “bring them up”. This is the same phrase that is used in 5:29 referring to the husband’s role of “feeding and caring” for his wife.
3 Provide Discipline (“training”)
It’s important to understand the difference between discipline and punishment. The purpose of punishment is to inflict penalty and focuses on the past. The purpose of discipline is to promote growth by looking to the future.
4 Provide Instruction (“instruction”)
Our goal is not merely to get our kids to outwardly conform to a list of rules. Our mandate is to develop children who seek to glorify God with their lives. It is not enough to teach them to do good things; our job is to teach our children how to develop a lifestyle of kingdom servanthood.
The first duty is negative we are told to “not exasperate our children.” This is a caution or warning designed to put us on guard against stirring up anger in our kids either purposely or unknowingly.
Some common ways that fathers can exasperate their children:
1. Overprotection.
2. Overindulgence.
3. Favoritism.
4. Unrealistic Goals.
5. Discouragement.
6. Neglect.
7. Excessive Discipline.
2 Provide Nurture (“bring them up”)
The NIV translates this verb as “bring them up”. This is the same phrase that is used in 5:29 referring to the husband’s role of “feeding and caring” for his wife.
3 Provide Discipline (“training”)
It’s important to understand the difference between discipline and punishment. The purpose of punishment is to inflict penalty and focuses on the past. The purpose of discipline is to promote growth by looking to the future.
4 Provide Instruction (“instruction”)
Our goal is not merely to get our kids to outwardly conform to a list of rules. Our mandate is to develop children who seek to glorify God with their lives. It is not enough to teach them to do good things; our job is to teach our children how to develop a lifestyle of kingdom servanthood.
Fathers, you don’t have to make all these changes on your own. In Malachi 4:6, the prophet looks ahead to the ministry of John the Baptist and writes this: “He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers; or else I will come and strike the land with a curse.”
Let us be encouraged in knowing that:
1. There are no perfect fathers, except our Heavenly Father.Let us be encouraged in knowing that:
2. We can all be better fathers if we will work at it.
3. We do not father alone. That’s why we need to pray daily for our families.
Samuel Hari (GROW BM)
